Living Is Not on Hold
Living isn’t something we resume once life settles. It’s something we practice inside it.
I finished “Tuesdays with Morrie” in tears.
Sad to see Morrie go. Grateful that Mitch stayed long enough for the rest of us to sit there too.
What struck me most wasn’t that Morrie was dying. It was that he was living.
His body was leaving him, yes. But his mind was sharp. His humour intact. His curiosity undiminished. He laughed. He admitted his mistakes without collapsing. He invited touch. He kept teaching.
That is not a man rehearsing death. That is a man inhabiting life, right up until the final breath.
And as I closed the book, I realised something uncomfortable and strangely freeing:
So many of us treat living as something that begins once uncertainty ends.
Right now, life in our house is shaped by cancer. The treatment sounds gruesome. The dates are uncertain. The impact unknown. Everything feels slightly on hold.
And yet. If I’m honest, what’s really on hold isn’t life. It’s my illusion of control.
My mind grips. When will it start? How bad will it be? How will I manage work? What do we plan? What do we cancel?
I hear myself saying, very competently, “One day at a time.” Enacting it? That’s another matter entirely.
Morrie did not wait for clarity before living. He reshaped living around what was true.
So perhaps that’s the invitation.
Not to pause life until this chapter is over. But to ask: What does living look like here?
Love has sharpened.
Family and friends have gathered closer. More contact. More honesty. More “we’re here.” It is beautiful.
And I’ve caught myself thinking … let’s not lose this when the treatment ends.
Love shouldn’t need emergency to become visible.
Work has shifted too. I stepped away from corporate life years ago. I right-sized things. I do work I care about. And still, not every piece makes my heart sing.
Right now I feel both passionate about what I do and fiercely protective of my energy.
Living well, I’m realising, is not squeezing everything in. It’s discerning what deserves your strength.
The body tells the truth before the mind does.
A fully lived day feels light. Spacious. Restful energy, not frantic energy. Movement. Laughter.
A half-lived day feels knotted. Tight. Heavy with rushing.
Rushing narrows everything. It makes me focus on what hasn’t been done. It breeds resentment. It pulls me away from witnessing what is already good.
Morrie would have had us dancing every day.
Even in a chair.
Especially in a chair.
What this book has gently confronted me with is this: Living is not something we resume once circumstances improve.
Living is something we practice inside the circumstances we have.
Even when the dates are unclear. Even when the body is tired. Even when the future refuses to organise itself.
Especially then.
So here is my Tuesday lesson, borrowed and reshaped:
The only applause you truly need is your own.
Performativity. Delivery. Production. Proving.
So much of it is for someone else.
But if you paused long enough, would your own life feel like applause from the inside?
Or like you’re waiting for permission to begin?
Right now, I don’t have answers about treatment schedules. I don’t know how tired we’ll be. I don’t know how work will land.
But this morning we drank coffee slowly. We laughed at something ridiculous. I noticed my shoulders drop.
Living is not on hold.
It just looks different.
And today, that is enough.
Bobby Davis is a qualified executive and team coach with extensive experience in organisational development, business change (the people angle), human resources and personal leadership.
Her coaching experience is against a backdrop of 30+ years working in managerial and human resources/OD roles in the British Army, Not for Profits, Professional Services and most recently with a private equity owned Hotel Group.
She has led the People “strand” within large business transformation programmes, creating people strategies, internal coaching schemes and embedding strong performance cultures, as well as supporting at all levels of an organisation to implement effective change.
She is absolutely passionate in her pursuit to support, challenge and deliver sustainable change for individuals, teams and organisations, one person at a time if necessary!
You can catch her for a chat about coaching, using your body better as a leader and/or supporting you in HR/OD here Bobby Davis FCIPD PCC | LinkedIn
And check out her dulcet tones in “More Than A Lumpy Jumper” - Conversations about Leadership, Life and Learning here More Than a Lumpy Jumper | Podcast on Spotify
